It's so hard for me to wake Lily up to go to the doctor in the mornings. I hesitate over her bed and will myself to have the strength to do what needs to be done. I wake her with a kiss and a smile and a "how do you feel?" She almost always smiles back and says "good," and although sometimes I'm not so sure, her waking up with a smile really helps to make the morning a little easier.

Some mornings are harder than others. When I think about the fine line that we walk between the chemotherapy drugs helping and hurting my beautiful baby, I feel like my heart is breaking. I can usually find the strength to be centered and positive because things are going so well right now, but this morning, as I hesitated over her bed, I glanced at a pile of nearby baby pictures of Lily. The one on the top was of her when she was only a few weeks old and I burst into tears. It doesn't seem that long since I held that sweet tiny baby in my arms, and yet the past 5 months have felt like an eternity. We've felt so many emotions and have learned so much about life and love and what's truly important.