Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. ~ Lao Tzu

This week we have certainly had our ups and downs, but I feel like I am learning acceptance and with that comes a feeling of peace and strength.  In small ways this week has been one of insight. Lily’s courage and optimism in the face of everything thrown her way humbles me and makes me stronger.  If she can handle what she has gone through and still smile, then I can do no less. 

On Monday Lily had three different chemotherapy drugs: Vincristine, Doxorubicin and Cyclophosphamide.  She had never had the last two before and had an allergic reaction to the Cyclophosphamide. When she would breathe in her nose would burn, her eyes were red and itchy and her face got swollen. The doctor slowed the infusion, but did not stop it. We ended up staying at the clinic for 6 hours, with Lily cheerful and talkative through it all. 

We met the home care nurse at this visit and she complimented Lily on what a wonderful personality she has, saying that she could be a comedian. Lily was telling stories and cracking jokes and startling the nurses with the dragon puppet she got at the Renaissance Festival. That night, the doctor sent her home connected to fluids through her IV.  Cyclophosphamide is irritating to the bladder and so needs to be continuously flushed from the body. They also gave her a drug called MESNA to help protect her bladder.  Later that night she was sick, but by the next morning was feeling better and ready to go again.

On Tuesday Lily was only given Doxorubicin, a creepy looking red liquid that turns urine red too.  Both of the new chemotherapy drugs can really lower blood counts, so on Wednesday Lily had to start taking another new drug called Neupogen to help elevate her white blood counts. This is given through daily injections, so I had to learn how to administer the shots.  This wasn’t easy for me; things like this make me so nervous. I wouldn’t even willingly set foot inside a hospital before Lily got sick, let alone inject my baby with scary drugs. Necessity has toughened me up though, and I am able to do what I have to do. I am glad that the doctor is allowing us to do all of this outpatient; often children are admitted to the hospital when they are given Cyclophosphamide.

Wednesday night Lily was not feeling well. She was sick to her stomach and that continued all day Thursday so on Friday I took her to the clinic to get her blood counts checked. They also gave her fluids  and anti-nausea medicine intravenously. Her blood counts were okay and the fluids and medicine really helped her feel better. She has been feeling good since and we had a really nice relaxing day today. This morning I pushed her around the trails at the Riparian Habitat and we checked out books from the library. It was great to be outdoors in this fabulous spring weather!